| (no subject) |
[Mar. 31st, 2006|08:18 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tryingto wake up | ] |
| [ | music |
| | starsailor - get out while you can | ] |
it's been a long long time that I haven't upload my journal soooo I think it's time to.
first I have find a job that's cool. I'm working since 3 weeks now at the holiday camp of " IVRY " in the suburb of paris.
I'mnot actually working in paris it's just that the Camp belong to them so noly kids from paris came here to see our pretty country side. I'm a washer but I do a lot of other stuff too like cleaning helping the cook and helping all the otehr people. my contract will be over in end of june but I hope I can leave before so I can go home with my 2 babies.
I'm still waiting for the phone call from the ambasade. which shouls take less than 60 days now. I realy hope cause I miss you so much sweety and the little azzy muffin too.
My brother Benjamin is still not going to school he just do nothing and that bugs me. he talks realy badly to us too he treats us like shit and he is still smoking I don't care that he smoke cigarets when I was his age I start smoking too but he is smoking something else ( we all know what is it) and that it not helping him at all, it only make things worse.
I'm also realy tired of being woke up by my mom and Alain making "their affair" in the middle of the night when it hapend I just want to punch them it's for tell.
paycheck is in 25 days now yay it's getting close. I'm in trouble with the bank too it's why I can't touch my account until I get my paycheck but yay my mom bought me a pack of cigaret that's nice.
and that's all I can think of for now.
I miss you baby I hope I'll be home soon. je t'aime tres tres tres fort. bisous.
( my keyboard is nasty ewww need to clean it ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 1st, 2006|04:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nick cave : do you love me ? | ] |
Well. Since Im back in france I've look for job but I had no luck cause each time I apply it was a NO. even at this fucking Mac Donald's where they had 6 fucking places. But no I feel like people think Im dumb or something that Im a freack.
I ve call the work agency and stuff but Im waiting for papers and then I will have an apointment.
the 9 march I have a rendez-vous for a job. it will be for deliver phone book. Im sure there will be a lot of people asking for the job but I will do my best one again. hopefully it will be ok cause Im realy tire that people think Im a good for nothing.
Tash isn't in a good mood and I have to say that me either. she don't sleep and other stuff that I wont explain here.
Today I asked if I could see her and Azzy on the Webcam but I had a freacking NO ! me her future husband a NO ! she said that she was feeling like shit and fat and stuff. and I ve told her that Ididn't care cause I wont stop love her for that. I just miss her and all I can have is the cam but no I couldn't she don't wanted. she said that I didn't understand why.. well maybe I don't but it hurt me like a bitch tjat I couldn't even see her what am I suposed to think ? well I don't know.
and then after we had a fight cause we were both upset and mad. I told her that I loved her still but I don't know if she believe it and it hurt more than anithing. she finaly said that she loved me but I wonder if it was just formeto let her go.
Well Im sorry and I love you |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 11th, 2006|11:57 am] |
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honey I don't know if anyone can receive mu message from MSN so if you haven't receive mess from me or ig I don't awnser message me on AIM cause Im on. je t'aime sorry for yesterday I was an ass. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 4th, 2006|05:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bored | ] |
so Im back in france....I don't realy know for how long I have to be here but I hope it will be short cause I miss my family so much. I miss seeing the muffin playing around, I miss my Natachia sleeping with her watching movie with her jocking I miss everything.
Im waiting to find a job too that suck I ve seen nothing so far.
and that is all for now. not a lot of news I know. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 30th, 2005|02:40 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | depeche mode-vibrator | ] |
You're the Chatterer. As Pinhead's second in
command, you enjoy the tiny smidgen of power he
indulges you with (like letting you get a
make-over in HR2). But what you enjoy most is
wandering the corridors of hell, looking for
someone to 'play' with. And of course, if you
can't find anyone, you never feel too alone.
There's always the chattering of your teeth to
keep you company.
Which Cenobite are you? (includes pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 25th, 2005|09:46 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  thirsty | ] |
| [ | music |
| | a song by linkin park | ] |
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:
» Personality:
» Eyes:
» Face:
» Hair:
» Clothes:
» Mannerisms:
[1] Who are you?
[2] Are we friends?
[3] When and how did we meet?
[4] How have I affected you?
[5] What do you think of me?
[6] What's the fondest memory you have of me?
[7] How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
[8] Do you love me?
[9] Have I ever hurt you?
[10] Would you hug me?
[11] Would you kiss me?
[12] Would you fuck me?
[13] Are we close?
[14] Emotionally, what stands out?
[15] Do you wish I was cooler?
[16] On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?
[17] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
[18] Am I loveable?
[19] How long have you known me?
[20] Describe me in one word.
[21] What was your first impression?
[22] Do you still think that way about me now?
[23] What do you think my weakness is?
[24] Do you think I'll get married?
[25] What about me makes you happy?
[26] What about me makes you sad?
[27] What reminds you of me?
[28] What's something you would change about me?
[29] How well do you know me?
[30] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
[31] Do you think I would kill someone?
[32] Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you? |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 6th, 2005|10:01 am] |
this morning I ve been woke up by some yelling. my mom and my bother had a rendez-vous to my brother school and as usual my brother don't wanted to go. what's new ??
so I came downstairs and try to tell my brother to go bla bla bla he still don't wanted to. so I took him by force out of his room for make him realize that he didn't make the law in our house. he was still the same. and what's happened ?? Alain cames and start to beat the shit out of him. fucker he have no right to punch him like that and my mom was crying trying to stop him but he didn't. so I stopped him he almost beat me too but he didn't. 5 min after he start again so I push him and he fall on the floor. he was so mad. I don't care he can be mad but it's my brother and even if it's a jerk nobody can beat him like that it's only a kid he is 14. again an happy day.
they finally went to the rendez-vous.
 |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 4th, 2005|02:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | DISINTEGRATED- Tribute to the cure | ] |
wanted to upgrade my journal.
sooo Im done with work my contract end the 30 septembre... and now Im waiting for my paycheck come this week I hope. I think it will be around 1000 € it will be a little more. so that's enought to pay my plane ticket. I will save 700 on my saving acount so Ill sure to keep them for the plane.
my 2 babys are sick... Azzy Muffin have an ear infection in both of her ears that kindo suck cause that make her dizzy and she puke and scream and never sleep. it seems that she's felling better now. But my second baby is sick too.we don't know what she have but I think it's a strep and the flu. she need to see the doc but she can't for now cause of work....that make me worry a lot. I don't want her to be much hurt that she is right now.
and me ... I ve upload a ditry place series on deviant art. Im kind of happy with it.
nothing much to say and it's the piggy wake up time. |
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| yayayaya |
[Sep. 28th, 2005|02:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
oooo Im happy I was on my way to work this morning and the radio was playing Californication of the Red Hot and I was like ok you guys of the radio would you play something new please??? and OMFG I think they heard me cause they played....."Suspence" tatatata all the drums stuff .........THE FUCKING NEW SINGLE OF INDOCHINE !!!!!!!! god I was so happy at work. hehe it was just for say that.
love you. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 24th, 2005|01:21 am] |
so tonight I went to the jeweler for get my ring size.and Im 59 90 for france.not the same as US I will have to convert it soon.after I went to eat a kebad with yohan buy smokes and rent a movie. the movie was saint ange. it was kind of strange I don't get all in this movie and that was long. on the way back the cops told me to stop. only one of my light is working my insurance is out of time. I have to fix all that or I will get bigger trouble the next time. I came home I get a TAshia like fury bitching at me for some reason . I never wrote body or table in one of my mail but well.
Im kind of tired of this during some days she just bitch at me and after she is nice and the next day she bitch at me. it's always like that. I hope that Ill get used too cause I love you tashia I don't want to loose you.
Im going to sleep maybe that will be better tomorrow. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 9th, 2005|01:49 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
please love get back soon I can't sleep without news of you. and I can't stop to imagine the worst.
please come back I miss you and feel so lonely. I want to know if all is ok if you will not stay there cause you have nowhere to go. I'm affraid love.
please come back.
Please wake up
It's so dark and cold
Please wake up
I feel so alone
And I feel so scared
That you're going away
And I feel so scared...
All I want is summer
Stories from before
Just like the day you tried to hide
Behind the churchyard wall
And fell asleep before I came...
I found you
In a chain of flowers
Sleeping like a marble girl
Sleeping in another world...
I'll never tell you
Of all the different ways
You make me so afraid... |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 5th, 2005|10:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | go back my love | ] |
| [ | music |
| | cry in the wind | ] |
it's 22.52 and tashia is gone because randy was coming home for destroy all the things he is maybe drunk and angry. so she left the house and she have nowhere to go for now I hope they will be fine I know they will but I am here imagining the worst things about her and azzy and matt and there mom. I will try to stay awake I have news from her. fuck. I hope she will get her guitar. she was so scared and cry and cry and I was here in front of my computer and do nothing because words can't help this time. at least she promise me to don't go with cockface and I trust her she wont.I hope they will be back at there home for takes things they want and for get another place to go.
and one more time I can't help. like always this distance in really starting to breaking my heart.like never before.
please come back my heart
don't be afraid things will be okay
I love you
 |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 4th, 2005|02:31 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed like always | ] |
| [ | music |
| | fuck music | ] |
tonight was the night of tears like each time I smoke. I said to tash I would stop and I have somke again even if it was nothing I does and like always a fight have start.
I feel realy bad when we fight like she don't loves me anymore and that hurt so much . I cazn't think to leave without her. but tonight she was so mad at me and saying nothing just forget me and talk with someone else.
I feel like a big shit.
fuck that. fuck this distance fuck the bank fuck pot fuck jobs fuck me fuck yohan fuck everything. |
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| survey |
[Apr. 1st, 2005|11:15 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cold | ] |
| [ | music |
| | gary numan | ] |
--Goth--
Do you wear black eyeliner?: yes I do
How much black clothing do you own?: a lot
Do you think about death often?: mhm
Do you want to die?: I used to but not anymore
Are you a social outcast: I try
Are you pale?: no but I love my white tashia
Do you cut school?: unfortunatly yes
Do you like Hot Topic? yes some stuff are cool not all but some yes
--Skater Punk--
Can you skateboard?: hahaha no
How often do you wear skating shoes?: I'm actualy wearing a pair of black vans
Do you do stupid stuff with your friends?: yes we never stop
How much do you get in trouble?:as I can lol
Do you listen to the bands who are considered posers?: I don't realy like new punk music but yes I do
How many piercings do you have?: ooooo
--Hippie--
Is your hair long?: nope
Are you a vegetarian?: nope
Do you own a tye dye shirt?: when I was young I stole my mom shirt haha
Do you want peace?: of course
Do you want to save the animals?: yes
What do you think about war?: ...........................
Have you ever made a peace sign with your two fingers?: everyday but I make a lot of fuck too sooo it's nothing I always speack with my hand unfortunatly I'm italian.
--Gangsta--
Are you from the ghetto?: unfortunatly yes I am. my parents had a little bar in the suburbs of paris so you imagine the rest.
Do you own "bling bling"?: haha yes I own bling bling
What do you think about do-rags?: sorry I'm french can you translate ?
Do you like rap?: some yes
How about hip-hop?: some yes my friend yohan love hip hop
Was Tupac truly the greatest rapper in the world? NOPE Tupac is just tragicly dead that's all
What do you think about afros?: it depend
Have you ever said 'fo shizzle'?: no
--Frat--
Is life a party?:no life is life
How often do you get drunk?: not a lot but I drink maybe once a week
Do you care about your grades?: no
Do you need attitude adjustment?: yes yes shut up you fucking survey !
Do you wear brand-name stuff?: not a lot I have stop that since I have 17 years old
--Emo--
How often do you cry?: a lot
Do you have a bad experience with an ex?: can I pass
Do you have an acoustic guitar?: yayayayay she is bad but yes I have one
Are you emotional?: of course I'm a girlyman
Do you like soft music?: mhm exactly
Do people understand you?: some of them yes
Do you write your own songs?: I try but it sucks
Is your hair dyed dark?: yes
Do you wear plastic-framed glasses?: no
Do you listen to music that makes you cry?: it's my favorite music
Do you blog about your personal life in great detail?: not on every details
--Jock--
Do you play any sports?: I used to be sportive (rugby ping pong volley ball badminton judo jujitsu swiming pool bike I used to ride my motorbike in the forest) not anymore
How important are they to you?: not important
How important is your reputation?: I don't care
Do you pick on the geeky kids?: no geeky kids are cool (two of my best friends are geeky kids)
What do you think about football?: I only wear a redskins jackets cause it's a present.
Are you considered a bully by anyone?:I used too
--Geek--
Do you wear glasses?: nope
Are you smart?: I think yes
Do you use an inhaler?: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah i'm a tease
Do you stick pens and calculators into your shirt pockets?: no
Does your mom buy your clothes?: no just make me presents
Are you on the computer alot?: everyday
Do you get picked on: don't understand this question sorry
_/*_The Usual_/*_
Name: alexandre
Middle Name: marcel raymond
Age: 20
Age you look: 20
Birthday: 25 august 1984
Astrological Sign: Virgo and for chiness I' m a rat
Are you a good match for that sign?: I think yes
Marital Status: I have an american girlfriend that I loveeee so muchhh
Hair color: it depend I had blue green grey brown purple red blond but I'm dark hair
Natural hair color: dark
Eye color: Always changing between green and brown
Glasses or Contacts?: none
Height: 187 cm
Tall or Short?: tall
Shoe size: mmm for france it's 46 47 for us it's 12
Skin tone: I'm a gipsy lol
Haircut: wow I have never find a good hair cut for me
Double jointed anywhere?: don't understand
Blood Type: A+
_/+_Favorites_/+_
food:I don't know
Movie(s): I don't know
vegetable: I don't know
fruit: apple
book(s):I don't know
clothing color: black
music: the cure placebo indichine Saez orgy cali starsailor ours U2 vast BOWIE cranberries and a lot
song: I always change I'm listening to dead heaven of gry numan right now
quote: I don't understand
boy name: I don't care
girl name: natashia cause it rocks
country other than America: for now I live in France and I like australia canada africa I like the world in fact.
brand of jeans: I don't have
religion: none I still searching
play: don't understand
musical: I hate musical
person to talk to on the phone with: I don't like phone but yes I agree that i love talk to tashia cause she have a beautiful voice.
candy: I don't know I prefere chocolat
treat you rarely get: money and sex "what a poor life ... lol"
place to be: I don't know anywhere with tashia
season: summer
smell: the rain tashia"s skin
month: I don't care
year: 2005. This is going to be a good year for me I think
day of the week: I don't care either
number:
letter:
thing in your room: too many things but an hifi one electric guitar one acoustic and 2 others but they are brokens sad. a computer a big bed and my lazzy ass.
room in the house: bedroom
holiday: summer
famous person: my girlfriend and her daughter and my family and my friend
author: baudelaire
type of story:
type of movie:
body part: eyes tongue ARMS tits
sport
sport to watch:none
_/#_Random_/#_
What's the time?: 11.05 am
What are you doing? (other than this survey): waiting to call bck again for the job
Do you like to chat?: only with my friend
How many close friends do you have on the net?: 4
have you ever met anyone famous?: a few people yeah
If so, who?: french actors
do you like the city life? not at all
do you wish you were older?: no
Any babies in the family?: not yet but soon
Who's the youngest person you know?: little azzy
Do you like to write?: no I can't
What is your worst habit?: finger in nioze
Your best habit?: masturbation ? lol
Are you popular in school?: I was popular cause I was alone mdr
Do you like to socialize?: not at all
Do you write music?: yes i try
Where is the best state to be in?: home
Do you like to tell people about you?: if they ask, I'll tell
_/-_Opinion On_/-_
scary movies: yes
books into movies: yes
comedy: of course
dancing:in the shower or in my room
parties: yes
cloning: it scares me
school: yes
america: I love america...and I hate it...
trees:
extinct animals: Aww, poor things
money: need some
friends: cool
life:
religion: I don't like so much but I don't hate but some are dumb ok I shut up I will have trouble with a lot of people
television: no
internet: all the day
pets: I love them
famous people: I don't care I will be famous
sun: it make my noze bleed
astronomy: very nice
death: shit happens..and it sucks
Friday: day of fish ewww
stealing: yes
Australia: I like australia
essays: it's cool
reports: ????????
laws: important ..............................and .....again
church: don't go
ghost stories: I saw one as a kid why do you call me crazy ? it's true
debt
blogs/ since a few month yes
children: they are cool |
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| every saga have a beggining. |
[Mar. 26th, 2005|03:09 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ours | ] |
beggining of a great story. awwwwwwww I miss you candygirl
 |
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|
| brother |
[Mar. 25th, 2005|11:36 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  rrrrrrrrr | ] |
this morning I had to drive my brother at school so I have left at 7 and drink a coffee and then I ear my brother said to my mom : no I don't want him to drive me I can go alone with the bus.but my mom wanted me to drive him he wasen't egree with that so he have escape through the forest so I have put my shoes and run after him " thanks ben to make me run in the forest at 7 am when I just wake " and now he is here watching tv downstairs. we realy don't know what to do with him cause he have to go to school or we will be in trouble. fuck. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 24th, 2005|01:20 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | fucking tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | indochine she night | ] |
today has been a normal day I'm proud of me I wake up early at 8 ( I know it's not really early but it is for me )
and after I have look for job cause the girl from the pottery had call me sunday for tell me I haven't this job.
so I have look a job in a supermarket and the boss's name was MR salle wit han accent on the e ; but I trust it was just MR salle what means mr dirty so I call him mr dirty and he tell me I was wrong and then 1 second of big silence and EXPLOSION I have laugh so hard at him. it was so funny but I think I can make a cross on the job lol .
I have make a guitar improvisation too it was not too bad.
and then I have talk to my love for the rest of the day it was good we had fun we have play checkers on MSN and we have bet and unfortunately I have LOOSE. so she had her present lol it was funny she told me I had made the cute face and she almost die . mdr I can see butterflies in my room now. :-)
now I'm tired so i go to bed it's already 01 28 am . I always go sleep late in this moment.
I love you my angel.
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| work |
[Mar. 17th, 2005|09:05 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | indescribable | ] |
| [ | music |
| | I'll catch you -natashia | ] |
soo today it's my first day on work since aproximatly 10 mounths. and III feel strange ( everyone know this feeling I'm sure ) I realy don't know what I will do there. clean I'm sure but maybe others things I DUNNO. will see
I will leave in 20 min just time for me to listen all the songs tashia have records because I will miss her today so very much. ' thanks love to have a beautiful voice and to be so smart and talented.
je t'aime de tout mon coeur.
bisous |
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| simply upload |
[Mar. 12th, 2005|01:30 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | a bit tired but in love | ] |
| [ | music |
| | MUSE citizen Erased | ] |
soooo I don't know what to update today but it's been a while I haven't write somethings so I do.
I haven't get the nigh job it's sad but like tashia said I will get one soon. I hope because I can't wait to see her again.
tonight it's almost 02 am and I don't sleep . I just listen music and talking with tashia we are reminded our memories together and it make her cry so guess what ? It make me cry too. but it's it's love tears no pain. because I know I have her and it's all matter.
TASHIA I LOVE YOU !!!!
ok I stop I can't write more.
ps . I laught again in my head about azzy and her nonononon mooving her head.
and Azzy is walking !!! such a great new she is so intelingent and smart and cuuute. azzy I love your mom and I love you. ( different kind of love but still )
GROS BISOUS A VOUS 2. |
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ziggy_alex's journal